Let's Talk About Imposter Syndrome: Paulina Cameron
Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome is part of a recurring annual interview series where we dig deep into the issues which are affecting our community most, but that doesn’t get talked about all that often publicly.
Last year we talked about anxiety. This year we’re focused on something that may be even more of a stumbling block when you’re trying to run a business: imposter syndrome.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong at the table or that what you’ve accomplished had more to do with good fortune than your own hard work and abilities (despite mountains of evidence to the contrary), then it’s fair to say this sneaky little devil has wormed its way into your life too.
An estimated 70% of people (more than 2/3 people) will experience imposter syndrome at some point or another, which means we should hear a lot more about it. But it has this way of keeping us from sharing and that’s because it wouldn’t have nearly as much power over us if we realized we’re all in the same boat together.
So here we are, dismantling the silos that imposter syndrome tends to create, and sharing the stories of six amazing people who have found success on their own terms, despite being confronted with these “fraudy” feelings on the reg. They’re bravely offering up their experiences and the tools they’ve used to fight back so that the rest of us can be inspired, motivated, and confident enough to do the same.
Introducing: Paulina Cameron
Next up, Paulina Cameron, the CEO for The Forum for Women Entrepreneurs (FWE), which is a charity that brings women entrepreneurs together and provides them with the tools and support to thrive. Prior to that she was the Regional Director for Futurepreneur. Oh and she also authored a bestselling book called Canada 150 Women: Conversations with Leaders, Champions, and Luminaries and is now taking on motherhood for the first time too.
And with every one of those accomplishments, imposter syndrome has been right there with her (poised and ready to pounce), so we’re very thankful to her for opening up about the more delicate side of life and sharing her story.
WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW YOU WERE SUFFERING FROM IMPOSTER SYNDROME, LIKE REALLY PUT A NAME TO IT?
I was in my last year at Sauder School of Business at UBC and I was reaching out to potential speakers for the Young Women in Business’ annual conference, Beyond Pink.
All of our speakers were high profile leaders and here I was, cold calling and cold emailing them, asking if they’d be willing to give their precious time to come speak at our event.
HOW HAS IMPOSTER SYNDROME MANIFESTED IN YOUR OWN LIFE? WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE AND WHEN DOES IT HAPPEN MOST OFTEN?
It feels like a hot sweat!! It also makes me feel like I just want to run away, bail, hide my head in the sand, proper ostrich style. I will question myself and ask “who am I to be doing this? Who gave ME the authority or permission?”.
CAN YOU DESCRIBE TIMES WHEN YOU FEEL IT THE MOST?
The worst case of imposter syndrome I’ve had is when I was launching my book, Canada 150 Women.
It had been the wildest of rides of going from idea to hitting the bookstores (and selling out on Amazon!) in the span of 8 months… and while the championship of everyone involved in the book - from the 150 women themselves to the production team at Page Two to close friends - I was terrified it would be a flop.
I was so scared that I almost stopped talking about it entirely. I hit a total roadblock and had a hard time even thinking about any book launch parties or marketing and promotions. It has taken me quite a while to get to a place where I feel so proud of the book and the ripples of impact it continues to make (I get emails every week about it!).
While it may have taken months to be excited to shout from the rooftops about it, I’m still so glad I was able to bring this project to life and am eternally grateful for those who I leaned on (or collapsed on…) heavily during that period of time.
WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT SHOWS UP IN SMALL WAYS?
I feel it in small ways when I find myself shying away from boldness and playing small when I know what I really want to do is play big!
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE IMPOSTER SYNDROME HOLDS YOU BACK? IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD HAVE DONE BUT DIDN’T BECAUSE OF IT? ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO THAT YOU’RE NOT?
I would do a lot of the same, but more boldly and with more gumption.
WHAT FACTORS IN YOUR OWN LIFE DO YOU THINK CONTRIBUTE TO THESE FEELINGS OF NOT BEING ADEQUATE?
I’ve always had high standards and expectations of myself and those certainly trip me up more often than I’d like.
WHAT ABOUT SOCIETY AS A WHOLE?
Oh gosh - look all around us.
From beauty industries to clothing to even entrepreneurship - it’s all designed to point to a less-than aspect of our lives and calling us to improve or do more or buy more to be better.
It’s especially true for women who need to consider more nuanced aspects, like how they look or whether they are nice but not too nice or direct but not mean. The list goes on… there’s also the real-time suck of the Grooming Gap which can’t be ignored. It’s no wonder that our sense of self, our confidence in our strengths, our ability to see our own potential and own our possibilities, is so greatly undermined.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE WAYS YOU FIGHT BACK WHEN YOU START TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS?
A while ago I read Tara Mohr’s “Playing Big” and, in it, she gives two definitions of fear based on biblical Hebrew: Pachad and Yirah: “Pachad is “projected or imagined fear,” the “fear whose objects are imagined.”
That, in contemporary terms, is what we might think of as overreactive, irrational, lizard brain fear: the fear of horrible rejection that will destroy us or the fear that we will simply combust if we step out of our comfort zones.
There is a second Hebrew word for fear, yirah. Rabbi Lew describes yirah as “the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to, inhabiting a larger space than we are used to inhabiting. It is also the feeling we feel when we are on sacred ground.”
When I find myself feeling fear or imposter syndrome, I now ask myself which fear I am feeling and discern it more closely to know what I need to do to help move myself through it.
I also have two more go-to strategies:
I have a group message thread with a few dear dear friends who are my go-to’s for asking for help in seeing the forest for the trees
I save notes or emails from folks who have thanked me or given me love for anything I’ve done and I go back to this folder to remind myself of my value and strengths.
HAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME CHANGED OR EVOLVED OVER THE YEARS?
I have come to expect it now - I know it will keep showing up as I show up for new and big opportunities. I’ve learned it can be my friend and if I imagine it as a helpful signal that I am on the edge of comfort and need to lean on my courage muscles, then I can usually move through it.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING?
Get rooted in the “why” of what you are doing and you will then be reminded that it’s actually not all just about you but it’s about the impact you are wanting to create.
Remind yourself that it is part of the human experience, you are not alone
Reach out to your close friends and ask them to reflect back your strengths
Check out all the posts in our Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome series .