Let's Talk About Imposter Syndrome: Sara McCabe
Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome is part of a recurring annual interview series where we dig deep into the issues which are affecting our community most, but that doesn’t get talked about all that often publicly.
Last year we talked about anxiety. This year we’re focused on something that may be even more of a stumbling block when you’re trying to run a business: imposter syndrome.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong at the table or that what you’ve accomplished had more to do with good fortune than your own hard work and abilities (despite mountains of evidence to the contrary), then it’s fair to say this sneaky little devil has wormed its way into your life too.
An estimated 70% of people (more than 2/3 people) will experience imposter syndrome at some point or another, which means we should hear a lot more about it. But it has this way of keeping us from sharing and that’s because it wouldn’t have nearly as much power over us if we realized we’re all in the same boat together.
So here we are, dismantling the silos that imposter syndrome tends to create, and sharing the stories of six amazing people who have found success on their own terms, despite being confronted with these “fraudy” feelings on the reg. They’re bravely offering up their experiences and the tools they’ve used to fight back so that the rest of us can be inspired, motivated, and confident enough to do the same.
Introducing: Sara McCabe
Next up, Sara McCabe, a leadership coaching consultant who works with business owners that are trying scale up, helping them become the kind of leaders that can navigate through any tricky situation.
Sara took the plunge into entrepreneurship when she realized she was compromising who she really is to fit the corporate mold and now only wishes she’d done it sooner. Follow her on Instagram @saracmccabe!
WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW YOU WERE SUFFERING FROM IMPOSTER SYNDROME, LIKE REALLY PUT A NAME TO IT?
A few years ago, I was getting ready to leave a toxic work environment and start my own business. To say there were doubts about my abilities would have been an understatement. I was straight-up harsh with myself all the time, but that was the way I had always been, so I never thought anything of it.
It wasn't until I had been diagnosed with an autoimmune issue and had a doctor tell me that I needed to chill before I realized, "oh, I might have some shit I need to deal with?"
Something about a medical professional saying "sounds like you're tough on yourself," really puts things into perspective. Naturally, I dove headfirst into the self-development world and started a podcast based on all of my learnings (that's totally normal right?)
Needless to say, while I was doing research for possible episodes, I came across an article on imposter syndrome, and my brain exploded because there was a name for all of the things I had been feeling and doing.
HOW HAS IMPOSTER SYNDROME MANIFESTED IN YOUR OWN LIFE? WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE AND WHEN DOES IT HAPPEN MOST OFTEN?
For me personally, imposter syndrome is lurking around most corners, waiting for me. I find unless I'm being vigilant with myself and shining a lot on all of my thoughts, she will start running the show ("she" being imposter syndrome). For me being vigilant means listening to what that voice in my head is saying and picking it apart to show why there is no truth to the thought.
So what happens when I'm not being vigilant? I'll lay out a few scenarios.
I release a video on YouTube. A thought I might have would be "omg, who are you to be doing this, you sound ridiculous, no one is going to take you seriously."
I might send out a newsletter with a link that isn't working (this has happened). Immediately I feel hot, flush, and like the whole world will now know just how dumb I really am.
I might do a talk in front of an audience and look at someone's face and for a split second think to myself, "They look like they're wondering why I'm here!"
If I leave these thoughts left unchecked, they will almost certainly snowball into an overwhelming feeling of
I shouldn't even be running this business
I'll never be as successful as I want to be
I have to work twice as hard to be better
CAN YOU DESCRIBE TIMES WHEN YOU FEEL IT THE MOST?
My first real leadership position. Managing a staff 50 ish people, I had previously managed about 2 people, and quite frankly was in over my head. I was managing people who were much older than I was, had been with the company way longer, and who honestly did think I shouldn't have gotten the gig (don't you love toxic work gossip???)
Needless to say, this was the start of my dance with imposter syndrome. At that point, I was much younger and really wasn't mindful enough to question my behaviour or thoughts. I know now my way of dealing with doubt is to beat myself up for a while, vow to work two or three times as hard as the next person to prove my worth, and maybe, if I'm feeling harsh, never accept help and do everything on my own. The entire time I was at that job, I worked 60+ hr weeks on average and didn't take a vacation for three years.
Yes. Imposter syndrome won that round.
WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT SHOWS UP IN SMALL WAYS?
These are the littlest of ways it shows up in my life:
Deleting an Insta story because I didn't phrase everything perfectly
Not introducing myself to someone who I admire because "who am I to take up their time!"
Not reaching out and selling myself or my business
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE IMPOSTER SYNDROME HOLDS YOU BACK? IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD HAVE DONE BUT DIDN’T BECAUSE OF IT? ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO THAT YOU’RE NOT?
It does, and it doesn't. Cool answer Sara! Let me elaborate.
Once I decide I want to do something, I'm prone to diving in with very little thought as to how it will be perceived. My imposter syndrome shows up later.
For example, the first online course I wrote. I had no idea what I was doing, but I just knew it was something I wanted to do! It was something that the people around me needed! So I worked away, creating an online course complete with videos, worksheets, and lessons. It was pretty legit, considering it was my first go at it. Just as I was finalizing everything, the dread set in. *GULP* "Whose going to buy this from me? Why did I think I could do this? I don't have enough experience!"
My imposter syndrome stopped me from selling a single one of that course. I didn't try and sell it at all. I half-ass put it out there.
Imposter syndrome also won that round. Here's the good news she doesn't run the show as much anymore. As far as things I want to do more of? I want to help MORE entrepreneurs uncover the leader they already are. I want to build their confidence and their bank account! Oh, and maybe I would like to do a Ted Talk one day.
WHAT FACTORS IN YOUR OWN LIFE DO YOU THINK CONTRIBUTE TO THESE FEELINGS OF NOT BEING ADEQUATE?
Like most humans, it's probably a mix of childhood stuff and some environmental factors like media. I grew up with a naturally very book smart sibling. I'm talking read a textbook once and get at least a 95% kinda book smart. I, on the other hand, mostly had the gift of gab! Needless to say, teachers were often disappointed when they realized I was nothing like my sibling. That feeling of not being "smart" enough stuck with me for a long time.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE WAYS YOU FIGHT BACK WHEN YOU START TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS?
I take my own medicine! My program takes clients through their own natural strengths, traits, values, their preferred communication style, and how that can be applied within their business. When you clearly see what you're good at, and have clear, actionable steps to move forward, a lot of the self-doubt starts to fade away.
The problems arise when you're trying to be something within your business that just isn't you! So when I'm struggling, I always take it back to the basics and look at what I know I'm good at. That's how I stop those thoughts quickly.
Here's an example:
"Omg, shouldn't be running my own business!"
I stop myself, and I say
"Is that true? What evidence do you have to prove otherwise?"
Then I hunt down actual information, aka proof.
I'll go into my email and look at an email from a client where they talk about how impactful our time was together and how confident they feel
I'll go to Instagram and look at DM's I get and look through messages where people thank me for shooting the shit with them and helping them solve a problem.
And if I'm really struggling, I'll talk to someone. The last thing you want to do is leave those thoughts unchecked because they will absolutely snowball!
HAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME CHANGED OR EVOLVED OVER THE YEARS?
Absolutely! She used to run the show! I think if we tally the examples I used in this interview, we would all be reminded 100% of the time imposter syndrome dictated my behavior.
Now I'm in talks with her less and less, and if she decides to speak up, we're going to have a conversation about the shit she's saying. I also give myself some leniency. It's ok to feel unsure if everything you're doing is brand new. I also know that the more we repeat a behavior, the more we begin to adopt that as a part of our identity, and once something is a part of our identity, we all fight tooth and nail to uphold it. Here's some more info on that!
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING?
We've all got A LOT going on, and sure reading a book, or listening to a podcast can help us for a while, but there's nothing like one on one help.
I'm going to give it to you straight (because that's my jam). We all try and deal with too many things on our own. I mean hi, that's basically all I used to do. It wasn't until I started working with someone that I made genuine progress and quickly too! Sometimes you need the eyes, ears, and insight from someone that isn't you to work through this kind of stuff.
If you find yourself really struggling, send me a message, and we'll see what we can do together. If that's too much of a commitment (I totally get it, you don't know me yet!), I send out weekly newsletters and upload videos weekly full of tips and tricks to help you.
I hope you know how much of a badass you are!
Check out all the posts in our Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome series .